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Well, first I would be remiss not to acknowledge what a breath of fresh air it is to have serendipitously had the honor to pseudo-meet you.

You, who's narrative elicits immediate empathy from me, if for no other reason than that, other than my having thus far staved off being out on my ass...although oddly enough is as of recent, suddenly a thing I allocate a portion of my mental bandwidth towards sitting here worrying about while not really ("really" is a qualifying statement here my ego would presume to use to avoid directly saying that I'm doing nothing, for no reason) doing a whole lot to mitigate or proactively resolve, as I am nigh on 21 years into my still active addiction (which is objectively not the cause of the ruination of my life, never been arrested, no OD, intrinsic disdain fostered by the gross obsession exhibited by so many others, no needles, really I'm just utterly useless is the problem, lolnotfunnybutreal) as I would refer to it just now for the first time as such...

However, the maternally inherited alcoholism that reigned supreme for over twelve years that now has slumbered for about 70% as long, would yawn, roll over to the other side, balking at my having done so right in front of it which may have literally killed me if I hadn't knocked it off for NO REASON other than being high and remember 3 hours later that I just opened that beer aand now it's gross and long story short, I make distasteful jokes about how the shit saved my life from that devil alcohol lolalsonotfunnylol...but I digress.

And wouldn't ya know, such a small world, we attended the same PhD program ᵒᵇˡᶦᵍᵃᵗᵒʳʸ "ᵖ ʳᵉᵗᵗʸ ʰ ᵘᵍᵉ ᵈ ᶦᶜᵏ" ʲᵒᵏᵉ at the same alma mater, I double majored in Psychomycology which, to say the absolute least, really elucidated the importance of proactively cognizant mindfulness and rigorous attention to one's potential to affect the subjective experience of others, for better and(/or) for worse, and more importantly, to take a moment to always give consideration to the perception of others and how they may interpret said perception with earnest interest to attempt to understand how they conduct themselves. Which alleviates the potential for one to take anything personally, which I would suggest the lack of this skill set all but entirely inhibits the potential amicable and even symbiotic constructive progress towards a resolution of any, literally anything can be resolved if all involved are open honestly interested in things being better.

That's where a lot of solutions die off in droves as it seems so rare that people aren't working SOME kind of angle that someone might not like if they knew, or something that would see a resource that benefit from dry up if X was known about, which is never going to work since this will invariably come under scrutiny when they can't give real input regarding their motivations or reasonings.

Specific neurons and neurotransmitters such as norepinephrine trigger a defensive state when we feel that our thoughts have to be protected from the influence of others. If we are then confronted with differences in opinion, the chemicals released in the brain are the same ones that ensure our survival in dangerous situations.

In this defensive state, the more primitive parts of the brain interfere with rational thinking, and the limbic system can suppress much of our working memory, physically causing narrow-mindedness (this is called "Cognitive Dissonance"). We see this in the politics of fear, in the strategies of poker players, or simply when someone is stubborn in a discussion. No matter how valuable an idea is, the brain has trouble processing it when it is in such a state.

On a neural level, the brain reacts as if we are being threatened, even when the threat comes from harmless opinions or facts that we might otherwise find helpful and could rationally agree with.

holy shit, shut up! I know, right!
At the risk of ending abruptly, seeing the length of this...
ᵃᵈᵈⁱᵗⁱᵒⁿᵃˡ ᵒᵇˡⁱᵍᵃᵗᵒʳʸ ᵖᵉⁿⁱˢ ᵉᵘᵖʰᵒᵐⁱˢᵐ
I'm going to hastily send before anxiety starts cleaving shit off until it's nonsense and I select-all > delete lolneurociesstillnotfunnybutIstilllol😅
I've never been able to share this before with the thought "I think you may like this" and had actually imagined the person to get through it, but bob's your uncle. shutting the hell up nowwwlol...